Texas is not a civilized place. Texans shoot one another a lot. They also knife, razor, and stomp one another to death with some frequency. And they fight in bars all the time.

During a recent panel on the numerous failures of American journalism, I proposed that almost all stories about government should begin: “Look out! They're about to smack you around again!

This is the man (Ronald Reagan) who proved that ignorance is no handicap to the presidency

Michael Jackson was a poor black boy who grew up to be a rich white woman

And the funny thing is, I've always been an optimist - it's practically a congenital disorder with me.

The advantage of being able to identify sin is that you can go out and do it, and enjoy it.

In Texas, we do not hold high expectations for the [governor's] office; it's mostly been occupied by crooks, dorks and the comatose.