The advantage of being able to identify sin is that you can go out and do it, and enjoy it.

How the American right managed to convince itself that the programs to alleviate poverty are responsible for the consequences of poverty will someday be studied as a notorious mass illusion.

It's like, duh. Just when you thought there wasn't a dime's worth of difference between the two parties, the Republicans go and prove you're wrong.

Havin' fun while freedom fightin' must be one of those lunatic Texas traits we get from the water - which is known to have lithium in it - because it goes all the way back to Sam Houston, surely the most lovable, the most human, and the funniest of all the great men this country has ever produced.

Any nation that can survive what we have lately in the way of government, is on the high road to permanent glory.

The Founders were right all along, but the results are a lot funnier than they intended.

Texas liberals are the camels of good news. We can cross entire deserts between oases.