It occurred to me, when I was old enough to make rules of my own, that they should be fair and simple.

I think I have a dark view of the world. I have to make everything funny, otherwise it all seems so sad.

I made enough money to buy a house. That's crazy, but fame proved ephemeral.

Everyone has flaws. It's a matter of finding the ones you can live with.

I spent most of my life locked in my bedroom, miserable about my raging acne.

Every job I've ever gotten has been an accident. All the jobs I actually go after, I don't get.

How strange, when your father's wearing women's clothes and platform shoes, that a pair of loafers looks incredible.