I like to think of myself as a New Yorker, which is pathetic.

I made enough money to buy a house. That's crazy, but fame proved ephemeral.

The idea of licking stamps seemed great fun for me.

I spent most of my life locked in my bedroom, miserable about my raging acne.

My mother tells this story that when I first went to school, I thought I was going to help the teachers. I didn't realize I was going to get educated.

I have a tree man coming to trim the jacaranda in my front garden.

I think I have a dark view of the world. I have to make everything funny, otherwise it all seems so sad.