There is nothing like tasting the grit of fear for rediscovering that the umbilical cord is made of piano wire.

Without vanity a writer's work is tepid, and he must accept his vanity as part of his stock in trade and live with it as one of the hazards of his profession.

Far more quickly than reason and logic, irony can penetrate rage and puncture self-pity.

Charity in the theater begins and ends with those who have a play opening within a week of one's own.

You'd be surprised how many kings are only a queen with a moustache.

Boredom is the keynote of poverty - of all its indignities, it is perhaps the hardest of all to live with - for where there is no money there is no change of any kind.

So far as I know, anything worth hearing is not usually uttered at seven o'clock in the morning; and if it is, it will generally be repeated at a more reasonable hour for a larger and more wakeful audience.