I have only ever read one book in my life, and that is White Fang. It's so frightfully good I've never bothered to read another.

If one can't be happy, one must be amused.

the test of a cook is how she boils an egg. My boiled eggs are fantastic, fabulous. Sometimes as hard as a 100 carat diamond, or again soft as a feather bed, or running like a cooling stream, they can also burst like fireworks from their shells and take on the look and rubbery texture of a baby octopus. Never a dull egg, with me.

Chickens are cheerless birds, I advise you to keep geese which can be taught to follow like dogs, one needs all the companionship one can get in these days.

When the loo paper gets thicker and the writing paper thinner, it's always a bad sign, at home.

Sun, silence, and happiness.

Always remember, children, that marriage is a very intimate relationship. It's not just sitting and chatting to a person; there are other things, you know.