I think some people see me as being some kind of lovable, bumbling buffoon, and I'm actually quite mouthy and sharp, and that doesn't compute.

Someone once pulled me aside and said it was all right to succeed, and I realised that I knew what failure felt like, but I didn't know what success felt like. I've carried that with me ever since.

Even though I didn't write 'Shaun Of The Dead' and 'Hot Fuzz,' I never felt left out of the creative process.

And remember, the people that you've seen here tonight are professionals, so please don't try any of this at home, because you are ugly and hung like a hampster.

In 1994 while on weekend manoeuvres in France, I commandeered a Chieftain tank without permission of my immediate superiors. I then attempted to invade Paris. However, en route I stopped off at Disneyland, or Eurodisney as it was then called, and was subsequently apprehended on Space Mountain.

It's nice to have someone write a couture character for you.

In the early 2000s, I was introduced to the noble art of kickboxing, it thrilled me, and I loved it. I loved the honour and the discipline, and I also loved the punching.