And remember, the people that you've seen here tonight are professionals, so please don't try any of this at home, because you are ugly and hung like a hampster.

I'm comedy's forgotten nearly man.

I don't describe myself as a sociable person now. I can be quite... you know... grumpy? Is that a word? I guess I can be a bit grumpy.

And remember, the people that you've seen here tonight are professionals, so please don't try any of this at home, because you are ugly and hung like a hampster.

Someone once pulled me aside and said it was all right to succeed, and I realised that I knew what failure felt like, but I didn't know what success felt like. I've carried that with me ever since.

My formative years were all about 'Star Wars' - the first three, not the last crap, obviously. I understood 'Star Trek' but it was too caricatured for me.

I always think I could play a fantastic psychopath. I'd like to play a psycho. With a heart, you know. A caring lunatic.