The trouble with shooting people, Edie Banister now remembers, is that it's so hard to do just one.

The Brit abroad is always the voice of caution. Persons of other cultures are known to be undisciplined, prone to leaning out of car windows and cooking with garlic.

And don't tell me the end justifies the means because it doesn't. We never reach the end. All we ever get is means. That's what we live with.

Ninjas are silly. They are the flower fairies of gong fu and karate.

ARGH! There's no such thing [as writer's block]. Seriously: THERE. IS. NO. SUCH. THING. You know what there is? There's a bunch of problems, creative and otherwise, that can stop you writing. They are not block. They are important skills.

I love you forever. I am sorry I cannot love you now.

I have known heaven, and now I am in hell, and there are mimes.