Love, it turns out, is as undemocratic as money, so it accumulates around people who have plenty of it already: the sane, the healthy, the lovable.

Hey, great idea: if you have kids, give your partner reading vouchers next Christmas. Each voucher entitles the bearer to two hours' reading time *while the kids are awake*. It might look like a cheapskate present, but parents will appreciate that it costs more in real terms than a Lamborghini.

Sequels are very rarely a good idea, and in any case, the success of the book changed my relationship with the club in some ways.

It's no good looking to writers for definitions of what constitutes proper writing, because you will drive yourself crazy, and you won't find anything that you can build into a coherent whole.

Barry, you're over thirty years old. You owe it to your mum and dad not to sing in a group called Sonic Death Monkey.

Complaining about boring football is a little like complaining about the sad ending of King Lear: it misses the point somehow.

Definitely avoid going out with ugly girls who say they want to be models. Not because they're ugly, but because they're mad".