The fact that I have a job that people even watch is an incredible gift.

Once you have a PhD, every meeting you go to becomes a doctor's appointment.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish and you feed yourself. He's a grown man, fishing's not that hard.

I've learned through experience that to trouble celebrities with my handshake doesn't do anybody any good.

My career is inexplicable to me. So far I've just been not getting fired despite being myself.

I learned in my early years in the theater that I would never become the guy on top. I'll never create a show; I don't have a brain expansive enough to see the whole picture, in a way that would behoove anyone.

The quest for the next key art awards begins with tomorrow's hangover