I don't want to follow comedians because I don't want to see what they're thinking about, 'cause then maybe I won't stumble across a thought maybe I had about the same subject.

I don't know if people really care about my opinion on things or how I come up with things, and maybe that's an insecurity and why we're comedians in the first place, so I think with that you keep doing the material, you keep trying to be funny cause you think that's all you're wanted for.

Wouldn't the world be a cleaner place if we gave blind people brooms instead of canes?

You know what’s really good is a greyhound in the shower.

There's a fear that I don't think people are interested in my actual opinion. I just think people are interested in me being funny.

I don't want to follow comedians because I don't want to see what they're thinking about, 'cause then maybe I won't stumble across a thought maybe I had about the same subject.

People are writing shorter jokes. The style I've started with was almost trying to keep jokes under 140 characters before Twitter.