Celebrate your child's achievement, then rotate it when the next mini-masterpiece comes along. Then chuck the old picture. Don't worry that you're throwing away a memory. Your children will remember your praise more than they will remember the picture with macaroni and glitter glued on it.

I was in a very fancy, high-end boutique where the sales associates stand around like mannequins. I walked in and the first thing they said was, "Ooh it smells like booty in here" because they knew me from Scream Queens.

The most valuable insight on choosing whom to love is to be honest with yourself about the man standing before you.

I say God is kind. So many people want to do what I do [comedy] for a living, and so he didn't have to choose me. So I don't take all the credit, but I do know that I love what I do, and I see it as a gift.

When you like what you like, it makes it easy for your husband to shop for you!

If you make your best friend and your significant other the same person, you don't have to disconnect to go tell your girlfriend everything.

We are bred to compare ourselves to the next person, to what they have and what they have accomplished.