I got into New College, Oxford. The ethos was that you could work - or not.

How come there's only one Monopolies Commission?

I was terribly shy and never said anything in class. Then I started getting into school plays. When you've got words to say, you've got a sort of armour.

Euphemism in the workplace does not end with job descriptions. It reaches a pusillanimous peak at the other end of the work process - in dismissal.

My job involves searching for 'lost' quotations - that is, trying to find out who came up with a quotable saying that lingers in someone's mind and which they wish to use for their own purpose and which they cannot find in conventional dictionaries of quotation.

Rees's First Law of Quotations: When in doubt, ascribe all quotations to George Bernard Shaw.

I am only too aware that I am open to Rees's Second Law of Quotation: "However sure you are that you have attributed a quotation correctly, an earlier source will be pointed out to you."