If I have a gig in the evening, I get 'the doom' at about 5 P.M., when I think I'm getting flu.

I could never be on stage on my own. But puppets can say things that humans can't say.

Having a puppet is a way of having opposing opinions - I say a thing; he says the other.

I make napkins talk in restaurants, socks talk on car journeys. There is an awful lot of puppetry going on in the house.

I think acting is overrated. I'm not sure I enjoyed it. You never get to write your own roles. It's wonderful for some people, but I found it nerve-wracking. I was too busy worrying that no one would give me their words to speak.

I thought people would think I only wanted to be an actor because my dad was, rather than because I had an innate calling.

I looked into studying psychoanalysis, wrote to the governing body and was about to start the year where they psychoanalyse you, four times a week, before you get to do it yourself. I just thought I'd taken the ventriloquism as far as I could. My act is so deconstructive, and I'd made all the monkey jokes anyone wanted to hear.