I could get an audience into my world and if you can do that, they'll go with you not all the way, but a lot of the way.

You know the black bits in bananas? Are they tarantulas' eggs?

I visited a friend in Leicester recently. It was 4am and we all ran around in a circle, six of us. It’s the most fun I’ve had since i was seven. And I thought: it’s not about drink, or drugs, or fancy clubs. It’s about running around in your socks, changing direction in a front room in Leicester.

When I'm 70 I might be a man in a park just wandering around, speaking in tongues with kids throwing bread at me.

I never did that badly with women when I wasn't on telly, but it's a bit out of control now. Women try it on with me more than I'm comfortable with. It's strange, because I think I look like a troll wearing a woman's wig backwards.

Yeah? Rock 'n' Roll is fast, you know. If all goes according to plan I could be in rehab next thursday. Tuesday week I'll be living on an island with a small Indian boy.

Last time you bring me pie, I cut into it, with my tiny pie cutter, and millions of birds flew out hitting me in the eyes and the temples... it was a trick pie!