You know the black bits in bananas? Are they tarantulas' eggs?

There's not enough psychedelic stuff on TV. I want the world to be a bit weirder than it is. I hate reality, so I hate reality TV. But I love Columbo.

Englishmen do like to get in a dress, any excuse.

There's something amazing about tea. It's good before a meal, after a meal, when drunk, when taking drugs, while playing football and after being called a poof in the street.

The tie's a multi purpose accessory, y'know, belt, school boy, Rambo.

I think I should be in a film called 'Space Shrews'. Where I go to space. With a load of shrews. And nothing really happens. We just get out and have a lolly and then come back. But it'll be a musical the ship will be built out of my own hair.

Some people have a fear of being on stage. I have a fear of coming off it.