Listen carefully. I'd crush you like a bug for causing my wife one single moment of pain. Believe it. Fear it.

I don't think you can write - at least not well - if you don't love stories, love the written word.

Why would I kill someone I don't know, when I know so many people who irritate me, and havent't killed any of them?

I won't consider getting horizontal with someone I can barely tolerate when we're vertical.

Marriage is a land mine. A really intimate land mine. Adultery to kitchen fires. Never a dull [moment].

She wants to learn how to handle a gun. Well, I want George Clooney naked in my bed, but I haven't attempted kidnapping. Yet.

Every writer needs an editor. I don't care how good you are or think you are.