Nobody can misunderstand a boy like his own mother. Mothers at present can bring children into the world, but this performance is apt to mark the end of their capacities. They can't even attend to the elementary animal requirements of their offspring. It is quite surprising how many children survive in spite of their mothers.

A man can believe a considerable deal of rubbish, and yet go about his daily work in a rational and cheerful manner.

You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements.

I wish the English still possessed a shred of the old sense of humour which Puritanism, and dyspepsia, and newspaper reading, and tea-drinking have nearly extinguished.

I can find no room in my cosmos for a deity save as a waste product of human weakness, the excrement of the imagination.

To find a friend one must close one eye. To keep him...two.

He talks about the Scylla of Atheism and the Charybdis of Christianity - a state of mind which, by the way, is not conducive to bold navigation.