The art of the novel is to arrive at that artless point where your characters become more real than yourself.

Love is simple to understand if you haven't got a mind soft and full of holes. It's a crutch, that's all, and there isn't any one of us that doesn't need a crutch.

I think the internet is the greatest waste of time since masturbation was discovered.

We didn't win the Cold War, we were just a big bank that bankrupted a smaller bank because we had an arms race that wiped the Russians out.

The highest prize in a world of men is the most beautiful woman available on your arm and living there in her heart loyal to you.

God is a creator, not a law giver.

One thing I've learned in all these years is not to make love when you really don't feel it; there's probably nothing worse you can do to yourself than that.