If man knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry.

Love and business and family and religion and art and patriotism are nothing but shadows of words when a man's starving!

It was beautiful and simple, as truly great swindles are.

You can't appreciate home till you've left it, money till it's spent, your wife till she's joined a woman's club, nor Old Glory till you see it hanging on a broomstick on the shanty of a consul in a foreign town.

The magi, as you know, were wise men wonderfully wise men who brought gifts to the Babe in the manger. They invented the art of giving Christmas presents.

There is no well defined boundary line between honesty and dishonesty. The frontiers of one blend with the outside limits of the other, and he who attempts to tread this dangerous ground may be sometimes in the one domain and sometimes in the other.

Except in streetcars one should never be unnecessarily rude to a lady.