In my real movie-going days, which were the thirties, you didn't stand in line. You strolled down the street and sallied into the theater at any hour of the day or night.

See, I believe that it is not true that different races and nations are alike. I'm profoundly convinced that that's a total lie. I think people are different. Sardinians, for example, have stubby little fingers. Bosnians have short necks.

Fake is as old as the Eden tree.

The best thing commercially, which is the worst artistically, by and large, is the most successful.

It would be so much better if the critics would come, not on first nights, but on last nights, when they could exercise their undoubted flair for funeral orations.

I love informality. I hate dressing up. I hate to be conventional - and I hate every kind of snob.

A toast, Jedediah, to love on my terms. Those are the only terms anybody ever knows - his own.