You can never be overdressed or overeducated.

People may fail many times, but they become failures only when they begin to blame someone else. Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

The only proper intoxication is conversation.

Never speak disrespectfully of Society, Algernon. Only people who can’t get into it do that.

One should not be too severe on English novels; they are the only relaxation of the intellectually unemployed.

Give children beauty, not the record of bloody slaughters and barbarous brawls, as they call history, or of the latitude and longitude of places nobody cares to visit, as they call geography.

...The two great turning-points of my life were when my father sent to Oxford, and when society sent me to prison.