Only people who look dull ever get into the House of Commons, and only people who are dull ever succeed there.

It is not the prisoners who need reformation, it is the prisons.

The past could always be annihilated. Regret, denial, or forgetfulness could do that. But the future was inevitable.

One should never make one's entrance with a scandal. One should reserve that to give an interest to one's old age.

Tell the cook of this restaurant with my compliments that these are the very worst sandwiches in the whole world, and that, when I ask for a watercress sandwich, I do not mean a loaf with a field in the middle of it.

You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you have never had the courage to commit.

The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is not read.