Your machinery is beautiful. Your society people have apologized to me for the envious ridicule with which your newspapers have referred to me. Your newspapers are comic but never amusing. Your Water Tower is a castellated monstrosity with pepperboxes stuck all over it. I am amazed that any people could so abuse Gothic art and make a structure not like a water tower but like a tower of a medieval castle. It should be torn down. It is a shame to spend so much money on buildings with such an unsatisfactory result. Your city looks positively dreary.

We live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities.

Marriage is the one subject on which all women agree and all men disagree.

Being natural is simply a pose, and the most irritating pose I know.

More women grow old nowadays through the faithfulness of their admirers than through anything else.

but the bravest man among us is afraid of himself

Never speak disrespectfully of Society, Algernon. Only people who can’t get into it do that.