LORD ILLINGWORTH What do you think she'd do if I kissed her? MRS ALLONBY Either marry you, or strike you across the face with her glove. What would you do if she struck you across the face with her glove? LORD ILLINGWORTH Fall in love with her, probably.

If you want to be witty, say what you think at all times

One should always eat muffins quite calmly. It is the only way to eat them.

I put all my genius into my life; I put only my talent into my works.

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

It takes a thoroughly good woman to do a thoroughly stupid thing

There is no such thing as a heterosexual male, only men who haven't met Oscar Wilde yet.