America has never quite forgiven Europe for having been discovered somewhat earlier in history than itself.

What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. And a sentimentalist, my dear Darlington, is a man who sees an absurd value in everything, and doesn't know the market place of any single thing.

Though one can dine in New York, one could not dwell there.

But what world says that [I'm wicked]? It can only be the next world. This world and I are on excellent terms.

Sometimes the poor are praised for being thrifty. But to recommend thrift to the poor is both grotesque and insulting. It is like advising a man who is starving to eat less.

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

One should always eat muffins quite calmly. It is the only way to eat them.