Only the shallow know themselves.

I prefer women with a past. They're always so damned amusing to talk to.

Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world's original sin. If the cave-man had known how to laugh, History would have been different.

The only thing worse than being misquoted is being sentenced to two years' hard labour for buggery

I can't stand people that do not take food seriously.

I quite agree with Dr. Nordau's assertion that all men of genius are insane, but Dr. Nordau forgets that all sane people are idiots.

Ideals are dangerous things. Realities are better. They wound, but they're better.