Nothing is so aggravating as calmness. There is something positively brutal about the good temper of most modern men.

The only proper intoxication is conversation.

The one charm of the past is that it is the past.

I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.

All women are rebels.

Never speak disrespectfully of Society, Algernon. Only people who can’t get into it do that.