When I see a spade, I call it a spade. I'm glad to say I have never seen a spade. The man who would call a spade a spade should be compelled to use it. It's the only thing he's fit for.

I have no objection to anyone's sex life as long as they don't practice it in the street and frighten the horses.

There is one thing worse than an absolutely loveless marriage: a marriage in which there is love, but on one side only.

"Why is it that at a bachelor's establishment the servants invariably drink the champagne? I ask merely for information." "I attribute it to the superior quality of the wine, sir. I have often observed that in married households the champagne is rarely of a first-rate brand." "Good Heavens! Is marriage so demoralizing as that?" "I believe it is a very pleasant state, sir. I have had very little experience of it myself up to the present. I have only been married once. That was in consequence of a misunderstanding between myself and a young person."

Any place that we love becomes our world.

It would leave no room for developments and I intend to develop in many directions.

Knowledge would be fatal. It is the uncertainty that charms one. A mist makes things wonderful.