My dear Arthur, I never talk scandal. I only talk gossip. What is the difference between scandal and gossip? Oh! Gossip is charming! History is merely gossip. But scandal is gossip made tedious by morality.

The Number our envious Persons, confirmation our capability.

What do you call a bad man? The sort of man who admires innocence.

I gave my genius to my life, but my talent to my art.

I love scrapes. They are the only things that are never serious." "Oh, that's nonsense, Algy. You never talk anything but nonsense." "Nobody ever does.

If it is not nailed to the floor, it's mine. If I can pry it loose, it is not nailed down.

Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life.