The gods bestowed on Max [Beerbohm] the gift of perpetual old age.

Men always want to be a woman's first love. That is their clumsy vanity. We women have a more subtle instinct about things.

I really don't see anything romantic in proposing. It is very romantic to be in love. But there is nothing romantic about a definite proposal. Why, one may be accepted. One usually is, I believe. Then the excitement is all over. The very essence of romance is uncertainty. If ever I get married, I'll certainly try to forget the fact.

With an evening coat and a white tie, anybody, even a stockbroker, can gain a reputation for being civilized

Fruitcake is like semen, there's a lot of it about but no one wants to swallow it

When a woman marries again, it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs.

We live in the age of the overworked and the undereducated.