Good heavens, I suppose a man may eat his own muffins in his own garden." "But you have just said it was perfectly heartless to eat muffins!" "I said it was perfectly heartless of YOU under the circumstances. That is a very different thing." "That may be, but the muffins are the same!

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

I hate vulgar realism in literature. The man who would call a spade a spade should be compelled to use one.

Every American bride is taken there [Niagara Falls], and the sight of the stupendous waterfall must be one of the earliest, if not the keenest, disappointments in American married life.

One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good reputation.

Life cheats us with shadows. We ask it for pleasure. It gives it to us with bitterness and disappointment in its train.

To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity.