Philosophy is like a normal personal organizer, but it's smaller than a matchbox.

Thinking is wonderful, but the experience is even more wonderful.

To be really mediæval one should have no body. To be really modern one should have no soul. To be really Greek one should have no clothes.

Every American bride is taken there [Niagara Falls], and the sight of the stupendous waterfall must be one of the earliest, if not the keenest, disappointments in American married life.

Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding it.

You silly Arthur! If you knew anything about...anything, which you don't, you would know that I adore you. Everyone in London knows it except you. It is a public scandal the way I adore you. I have been going about for the last six months telling the whole of society that I adore you. I wonder you consent to have anything to say to me. I have no character left at all. At least, I feel so happy that I am quite sure I have no character left at all.

The best people to work for are me, myself and I.