Philosophy is like a normal personal organizer, but it's smaller than a matchbox.

When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving one's self, and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance.

The moment you think you understand a great work of art, it's dead for you.

The trouble with women is, that when they grow up, they turn into their mothers. The trouble with men is, that they don't.

Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far the best ending for one.

Oh, how I vainly wished to the bearded man in the sky that I was Neapolitan. Why? So I could bring in a fine Neapolitan pest control to help with Queensberry's problem before it gets out of hand.

Pleasures may turn a heart to stone, riches may make it callous, but sorrows cannot break it. Hearts live by being wounded.