My idea of what God should be is a good guy. I don't think there's any good in killing people in the name of your God.

I grew up having to piss in a bucket ’cos there was no indoor shitter, and now I have these computerised Japanese super-loo things that have heated seats and wash and blow-dry your arse at the touch of a button. Give it a couple of years and I’ll have a bog with a robot arm that pulls out my turds, so I don’t have to strain.

I'm not a musician - I'm a ham.

I have no faith in my ability to judge things.

I hated school. Hated it.

I never thought I could write anything or do a show sober, ever. But I did the Black Sabbath shows sober, and it was so much better fun for me, and everybody.

I can't do anything in moderation.