The modern holy trinity is money, sex and celebrity.

Childhood is the one prison from which there's no escape, the one sentence from which there's no appeal. We all serve our time.

Human kindness is like a defective tap, the first gush may be impressive but the stream soon dries up.

When I heard, Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, I thought, Did he fall or was he pushed?

Charm is always genuine; it may be superficial but it isn't false.

Death ... obliterates family resemblance as it does personality: there is no affinity between the living and the dead.

I thought of inviting you to my other club but you know how it is. Lunching there is a useful way of reminding people that you're still alive, but the members will come up and congratulate you on the fact.