It ought to be a criminal offence for women to dye their hair. Especially red. What the devil do women do that sort of thing for?

Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with, for when it comes in middle life it is apt to be serious.

Few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks.

Employers are like horses — they require management.

But everything is relative, Bertie... You, for instance, are my relative, and I am your relative.

The stationmaster's whiskers are of a Victorian bushiness and give the impression of having been grown under glass.

They were real golfers, for real golf is a thing of the spirit, not of mere mechanical excellence of stroke.