No one so dislikes being punished unjustly as the person who might have been punished justly on scores of previous occasions, if he had only been found out.

But what is the love life of newts, if you boil it right down? Didn't you tell me once that they just waggled their tails at one another in the mating season?''Quite correct.' I shrugged my shoulders. 'Well all right, if they like it. But it's not my idea of molten passion.

He was either a man of about a hundred and fifty who was rather young for his years, or a man of about a hundred and ten who had been aged by trouble.

I don’t know if you have had the same experience, but the snag I always come up against when I’m telling a story is this dashed difficult problem of where to begin it.

The only way of really finding out a man's true character is to play golf with him. In no other walk of life does the cloven hoof so quickly display itself.

Whenever I have that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman.

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.