The Duke of Dunstable had one-way pockets. He would walk ten miles in the snow to chisel an orphan out of tuppence.

Great pals we've always been. In fact there was a time when I had an idea I was in love with Cynthia. However, it blew over. A dashed pretty and lively and attractive girl, mind you, but full of ideals and all that. I may be wronging her, but I have an idea that she's the sort of girl who would want a fellow to carve out a career and what not. I know I've heard her speak favourably of Napoleon. So what with one thing and another the jolly old frenzy sort of petered out, and now we're just pals. I think she's a topper, and she thinks me next door to a looney, so everything's nice and matey.

Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well.

Chumps always make the best husbands. All the unhappy marriages come from the husbands having brains.

If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.

She could not have gazed at him with a more rapturous intensity if she had been a small child and he a saucer of ice cream.

I always strive, when I can, to spread sweetness and light. There have been several complaints about it.