Golf acts as a corrective against sinful pride. I attribute the insane arrogance of the later Roman Emperors almost entirely to the fact that, never having played golf, they never knew that strange chastening humility which is engendered by a topped chip shot. If Cleopatra had been ousted in the first round of the Ladies' Singles, we should have heard a lot less of her proud imperiousness.

As a rule, from what I've observed, the American Captain of Industry doesn't do anything out of business hours. When he has put the cat out and locked up the office for the night, he just relapses into a state of coma from which he emerges only to start being a Captain of Industry again.

Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good.

In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.

Well, you certainly are the most wonderfully woolly baa-lamb that ever stepped.