Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.

The only really firm rule of taste about cross dressing is that neither sex should ever wear anything they haven't yet figured out how to go to the bathroom in.

You know, if government were a product, selling it would be illegal. Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have.

Just as some things are too strange for fiction, others are too true for journalism.

Government does not cause affluence. Citizens of totalitarian countries have plenty of government and nothing of anything else.

To grasp the true meaning of socialism, imagine a world where everything is designed by the post office, even the sleaze.

Everything that's fun in life is dangerous. Horse races, for instance, are very dangerous. But attempt to design a safe horse and the result is a cow ... It is impossible to be alive and safe.