This country was founded by religious nuts with guns.

Fishing... is a sport invented by insects and you are the bait.

The Australian language is easier to learn than boat talk. It has a vocabulary of about six words.

If Disney still wants to make Epcot Center futuristic, they could do so by blowing the place up with an atom bomb.

Man developed in Africa. He has not continued to do so there.

Then there was communism's weak-tea sister, socialism. Socialists maintained that we shouldn't take all the money away from all the people since all the people don't have money. We should take all the money away from only the people who make money. Then, when we run out of that, we could take more money from the people who...hey, wait! Where'd you people go? What do you mean you're "tax exiles in Monaco?"

With the war in Iraq, I had the cooperation of the Department of Defense. Kuwait was pretty eager to get American journalists in there, to show us what a wonderful place they are, and what great allies they are to America, even though they didn't actually fight in the war.