I have three children and three dogs. You put them in a Prius, you know? People who have a Prius obviously have no life! No wife, no kids, no pets - there's no room in there for anything!

It is easy to understand why the cat has eclipsed the dog as modern America's favorite pet. People like pets to possess the same qualities they do. Cats are irresponsible and recognize no authority, yet are completely dependent on others for their material needs. Cats cannot be made to do anything useful. Cats are mean for the fun of it. In fact, cats possess so many of the same qualities as people that it is often hard to tell the people and the cats apart.

Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.

I'm 61 years old. I'm not that fearful of the future, period. I'm not going to see that much of it.

Long conversations with pals when neither you nor they have had a drink can be a test of palship.

Modern air travel means less time spent in transit. That time is now spent in transit lounges.

Whenever government proposes to get involved in the regulation of trade, just be very, very careful about who's behind this proposal, what their motives are.