I have three children and three dogs. You put them in a Prius, you know? People who have a Prius obviously have no life! No wife, no kids, no pets - there's no room in there for anything!

Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact.

The typical old-fashioned diet (in the nineteenth century) was so bad it almost assembled modern dieting.

Crazy old people are our entire source of polling information.

Finland is a rich country. What have they got? They got Nokia phones and plywood. How'd they get so rich? Because they're free.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

The American political system is like fast food - mushy, insipid, made out of disgusting parts of things and everybody wants some.