Liberals have a quaint and touching faith that truth is on their side and an even quainter faith that journalists are on the side of truth.

I suppose I should get a VCR, but the only thing I like about television is its ephemerality.

I buy a tractor two years ago, and four-fifths of the tractor manual is about not tipping over, not raising the bucket high enough to hit high-tension wire... not killing yourself, basically. And in that manual, I found out - and it cost me a thousand dollars - that when the tractor is new, 10 hours into use of the tractor, you have to re-torque the lug nuts. If you don't, you will oval the holes. This is buried between the moron warnings. I never found it. I take the tractor in for its regular servicing, and they say my wheels are gone. How am I supposed to know that? "It's in the manual."

When I became a man, I put away childish things and got more elaborate and expensive childish things from France and Japan.

Liberals have a quaint and touching faith that truth is on their side and an even quainter faith that journalists are on the side of truth.

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.

To mistrust science and deny the validity of the scientific method is to resign your job as a human. You'd better go look for work as a plant or wild animal.