Wherever there's injustice, oppression, and suffering, America will show up six months late and bomb the country next to where it's happening.

There's nothing more oily and cynical in politics than telling the truth.

When you think of the good old days, think one word: dentistry.

I had really not been out of the United States much, except for Mexico. I thought, "Jesus Christ, this [Russia] is like a whole new world." Instead of writing Michael Jackson one-glove jokes, all I had to do was go to these weird places and keep my eyes and ears open.

Intelligence collection has been given an additional bureaucracy to correct the problems created by too much bureaucracy in intelligence collection.

Wearing a hat implies that you are bald if you are a man and that your hair is dirty if you are a woman.

In Western Australia they don't even know how to make that vital piece of sailboating equipment, the gin and tonic.