Just as some things are too strange for fiction, others are too true for journalism.

I spent almost 25 years as a foreign correspondent, and the world's primary problem is poverty.

Cats are to dogs what modern people are to the people we used to have. Cats are slimmer, cleaner, more attractive, disloyal, and lazy. It's easy to understand why the cat has eclipsed the dog as modern America's favorite poet. People like poets to possess the same qualities they do.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Then there was communism's weak-tea sister, socialism. Socialists maintained that we shouldn't take all the money away from all the people since all the people don't have money. We should take all the money away from only the people who make money. Then, when we run out of that, we could take more money from the people who...hey, wait! Where'd you people go? What do you mean you're "tax exiles in Monaco?"

Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact.

In the American political system, you're only allowed to have real ideas if it's absolutely guaranteed that you can't win an election