The Tenth Commandment sends a message to socialists, to collectivists, to people who believe that wealth is best obtained by redistribution, and that message is clear and concise . . . Egalitarianism is sinful; it's also cowardly.

Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.

I covered the Lebanese civil war. I could see a place that had once been prosperous and now was impoverished. I'm not seeing that in America.

[ I'm] humorist, I guess. Or really more of a reporter. A reporter who reports on funny things.

I don't even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I've never used a computer.

To grasp the true meaning of socialism, imagine a world where everything is designed by the post office, even the sleaze.

You can't get good Chinese takeout in China and Cuban cigars are rationed in Cuba. That's all you need to know about communism.