A lot of the things I say I'm just trying to be funny... I don't really mean everything I say, because I'm not totally that airhead.

One night stands are not for me. I think it's gross when you just give it up.

So many people have bad intentions, so many girls want to hang out [with me] to be someone. I weed those people out of my life. I call them hungry tigers.

I travel around the world constantly promoting my projects and endorsing products. Yes, I do get paid to go to parties; in fact, I'm the person who started the whole trend of paid appearances. But when you see me at a party, I'm always working or promoting something.

I talk in that baby talk voice when I'm on TV, it's a put on.

If I was a President I want to put an end to only large financial contributors, lobbyists, inside-the-Beltway fat cats, and corporate bigwigs getting to sleep in the Lincoln Bedroom. I will keep that room open only for people for whom it is too late to drive after attending one of my secret-underground-bunker-after-hours parties.

A lot of my dreams have to do with animals I think because I'm such a huge animal lover. I have so many pets. I always have crazy dreams where I'm like riding an elephant through the jungle or hanging out with a bunch of monkeys.