I wasn't in a position to defend myself. Sometimes it's a brutal profession. The first thing I thought of at the time was revenge. I have a more levelheaded take on the issue today.

I spent my first two years as a professional with Mapei in Italy, on their youth team. We rode in minor races. Doping wasn't an issue. S

Of course they were saying: No doping! But as a rider, it's difficult to believe that things can really change from one day to the next.

I made a big mistake. There's no doubt about it. But there have been positive testing cases in the past where the offender wasn't attacked to quite the same extent, especially not by other riders.

Ampoules containing cortisone, testosterone gel residues, syringes and needles, a centrifuge for measuring my blood values.But, contrary to the erroneous reports in the press, they didn't find any EPO or growth hormone.

The truth is that things were already going so poorly for me that nothing surprised me anymore. But then the BKA sent 20 agents to search my house.

I can count off on one hand the number of times I've used testosterone gel - because it doesn't really do much.