I wouldn't call it an addiction. But the truth is, when you join a team as a new professional you encounter a system. As a young rider, older riders let you know how the business works.

The crazy thing is that I really wasn't under any pressure. My contract wasn't going to expire until the end of 2008, and everyone was satisfied with me. But I wasn't. I always wanted to improve.

The message I understood was this: Just don't get caught!

I spent my first two years as a professional with Mapei in Italy, on their youth team. We rode in minor races. Doping wasn't an issue. S

The patient in the bed next to me told me that the newspapers were reporting on the test, and it was on television all day long.

The truth is that things were already going so poorly for me that nothing surprised me anymore. But then the BKA sent 20 agents to search my house.

Riders called me up afterwards to say that they had had no other choice. I couldn't understand the way they changed their tune.